Seriously, can't a girl get a break?

After 10 months, almost to the day of battling this cancer thing, I get this pain that I don’t think I’m supposed have, so I call my angel of a cancer advocate; she tells me to get in to see either my primary doctor or the surgeon who did the breast surgery. I go see both. As it turns out, there is something going on; the surgeon tells me that it could be an infection and gives me mega antibiotics, which if in two weeks they don’t work, then we’re looking at another kind of breast cancer; a more serious one. Talk about breast cancer awareness month; wow! Drat I say! I have learned more about cancer than I ever wanted to know this past year; I’ve learned that even when they say you’re in remission, that all your markers look good, that the chemo and radiation worked….it’s still with you all the time; that impending fear, that new awareness that your body is rebelling, or tainted now in some fashion. I’ve learned that so many more people have been touched by it than I ever thought. I’ve learned that I have this newfound, sort of morbid curiosity that compels me to read the obits in the paper every Sunday, and that every week countless women lose courageous and long battles with breast, and other cancers, and I wonder if I will be one of those, or not. I’ve said to myself over the past months that if I had to do chemo again, I wouldn’t, and then my stronger self says that no matter what comes my way, I will deal with it. So, now, I wait that two weeks, and wonder…..