Thanksgiving

I spent many years living and working with convicts, criminals, and addicts…spent with intent; the intent of helping to lead people out of misery and pain. Not alone, but with others who found their way out. With all my heart, I believe that people lucky enough to overcome their misery and pain experience far greater extremes of bliss and joy than people who have no misery and pain I have known - - A woman who wrote in the autobiography she was asked to write in treatment “my nightmare as a child began the day I was born. My mother was addicted to heroin”. -A daughter who begged her mother to come out of a “nod” to just talk to her -A mother “nodded” out for 25 years, never considering the option of stopping – her grown son didn’t know her without heroin. -A man who has served 25 years for a murder in a drug deal gone bad; he has more character and goodness than most people I know. -A 58 year old woman, who remembers a rage deep enough at age 17 to kill her stepfather; she stopped because of the tears welling in her baby brother’s eyes. -A young man serving life for putting a gun to his crack dealer’s head; the crack dealer who pressed charges; the grandfatherly crack dealer who owns an apartment complex and sells crack to women and children. -A woman robbed, attacked, raped by three ski-masked men; 25 years later, she cannot be in a house alone at night; the nights forever changed. -A child with no childhood, born addicted to heroin – yet still innocent, naïve, later, so full of pain, taken out by five bullets in his chest. -A bright young woman who mutilates herself with sharp objects; to erase another pain far worse. -A man whose only dream was to have a television in his cell -A woman out of prison 21 years, haunted still by the memories of the times she ‘sold out’ morally to ‘survive’. -Men and women that lust desperately to ingest something into their noses, mouths, veins, eventually their souls– to escape the pain of their existence. I have known men and women, who lived on the bottom, grew up on the bottom –and then rose above the bottom, never to return. Thanksgiving – what a great holiday; it allows us a pause – to just be thankful! We all have a story that brought us to this day, this moment–stories of pain, trauma, betrayal, loss and grief, and as well, bliss, laughter, love. When we are able to overcome our story, integrate and cherish it, we will find profound peace of mind, gratitude, and humility. We cannot give thanks unless we are humble – we cannot give thanks without appreciating the bittersweet fact that somewhere, someone is worse off. Somewhere -A man, woman or child is dying of AIDS, or cancer – alone -A grandmother spends thanksgiving alone; her children lives are too busy this year -A child cowers in a corner, afraid of the beating to come -A mother cowers in a shelter; her eyes blackened after the beating -Unkind strangers avoid the hollow empty eyes of the homeless man who asks for a quarter -A man or woman is doing life without parole -And someone today, mourns loss that words cannot express… I am thankful for all I have learned, have yet to learn and for being able to share it with so many. I am thankful that I’ve had the privilege of dreaming for people who couldn’t yet dream for themselves. I am thankful for the gift of friends, and family. I am thankful that beneath the grief, I had twenty-five years with the love of my life. With all my heart to all of you– Happy Thanksgiving