Sunday morning blues

OMG - I just ate salad for breakfast, why salad, you ask? a dear dear friend of mine -Lorraine delivered a gift to me yesterday of nearly every kind of fruit, veggies, shrimp, chicken, the best viginarette dressing i've ever had, vitamin water-giant portabella mushroom, cranberries, candy...she apparantly researched the internet to find out what chemo patients can tolerate depending on the side effects... she did this as a gesture of kindness that would only become more precious after the night and early morning i had; one of just being pissed off and sick and tired of this cancer, chemo thing-had one of the worst nights/mornings in awhile. Just had a bunch of work done on the house all week, painting, relandscaping, etc. and everything is in disarray...i can't stand things being out of order, and upon making some small effort to put a garbage can back where it belonged, I found i had not even the strength to do that, walking to the bedroom and back is a major effort that leaves me out of breath. But, oh, the healing power of that salad I just ate helped ease the fear, the anger, the sheer tiredness of the shape i find myself in....god, i keep saying to myself, i'm only 57...anyway, to say thank you to Lorraine doesn't begin to express the magnitude of that salad i just ate.